Actual dialogue with a waiter today at a cafe in town:
Me (looking over the large menu): Could I get a mango shake?
Waiter: Sorry, we don't have.
Me: Oh, okay. Umm, a mango juice?
Waiter: Sorry, we don't have.
Me: What about a strawberry milkshake?
Waiter: Don't have.
Me: Okay, umm...
Waiter: From the drinks, we only have passion [fruit] juice.
Me: OH. Okay. That's fine, I won't have anything.
Waiter: No, you must have something! Maybe something small to eat?
Me: No it's okay. Don't worry about it.
Waiter: No, have some food!
Me: Alright, fine. Do you have the spring rolls?
Waiter: Oh no, we don't have.
Me: What about samosas?
Waiter: YES! Samosas we have!
Me: Okay but do you have veg samosas? No meat?
Waiter: YES, we have veg samosas. I'll bring one.
[Waiter returns with samosa and leaves. I take a bite and my mouth is filled with hamburger. He returns.]
Me: I thought you said you have veg samosa? This is meat.
Waiter: No, we only have meat.
Me: OH. I SEE. Well, could you take this one back? I don't eat meat.
(winning line of the day in 3... 2... 1.... )
Waiter: Well, why don't you change your diet?
Me: (thinking: Why don't you go get fired?) No, that's okay. I won't have anything. Thanks.
I swear it was never this difficult living here 2 years ago.
That's amazing. I'm jumpin' on a plane right now to meat up with you (get it, meat up! hahaha!!).
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